Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out, and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML
Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML
Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML
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