Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
ohdammit101
Monsieur Aberdeen, USA 38 ans
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Dodge that bullet
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
It's not?
Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Sorry, what?
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML