YuckyDuckyLucky

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML