_LalaMora_

Today, I have to start wearing adult diapers because I can't stop peeing myself. I'm 22. FML

These Retro Cards Show What These 50s Women Were Really Thinking

Nobody is that prim and proper. We've all got a little FML in us.

Today, I mockingly made "President Trump" jokes all day to my friends, knowing Clinton was bound to win the election. FML

Take it while you can

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

This Man's Girlfriend Made Him Choose Between Her And His Dog, So He Made A Craigslist Ad You've Got To See.

Who would want to kick out an adorable pup?

Double standard

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

Leave me alone !

Today, I had a big exam. Twenty minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled, "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

Know Anyone In The Medical Field? You're Going To Need To Show Them These 11 Memes STAT

The major FML for a doctor is basically accepting a lifetime of annoying messages from their friends asking to be diagnosed through text.

Today, I almost died after getting an epidural in my neck. The medicine paralyzed my entire body, including my diaphragm and lungs. The doctor tried to say it was a panic attack. I had turned blue. FML

This Artist Teaching You How To Draw Anything Out Of A Butt Is Exactly What The World Needs Right Now

The world has come down to this... butt art. And we are loving it.

Today, I accidentally walked in on my son giving head to his husband. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

Husband And Wife Flying To Mexico Share Shocking Video Of Couple Having Sex During The Flight...And No One Else On Board Seems To Notice

A whole new kind of in-flight entertainment.

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

Community policing

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML