Neilious

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML