Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML
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