Today, when my ex said he wanted to be friends, what he meant was that he wanted me to help him hook up with 18-year-olds. FML
carnygrl87
Georgia, United States
boyBYE
Pleasant Grove, United States
leahrb
Wilmington, United States
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
emchocolat
Europe
Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML