Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
pizza_pizza_pie
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Committed
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML