Pickledanoob

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML