bigpapa74

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

Today, a friend pointed out to me that my girlfriend of five years looks a bit like my mom. She does, and now I can't get it out of my head. FML