carl_carl_

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML