TheComedyAudio

Today, I got home from a family trip to Disney World. I had taken nearly 300 photos of our trip on my new digital camera. As our car pulled into the driveway, I was using my camera to try to delete one unflattering shot of me. I accidentally deleted every picture off the memory card. FML

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

Brat era

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

Been there, done that

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

Today, on my 18th birthday, I was mugged by 6 guys who beat the shit out of me and stole my phone and wallet. They could've just asked. FML

This is fine

Today, I got a $60 parking ticket for not paying the $2.50 pay-to-park fee. I checked my bank records, which proved that I'd paid the fee, for the correct space too. The problem is the fine is too small to contest in traffic court. FML