jamalamadingdong

Today, I realized after I wrapped myself in a blanket that it was my cat's "humping blanket". FML

Today, my boyfriend's mother informed me that when I visit him next month, he is planning to propose. We have a long-distance relationship and I've been thinking of breaking it off. His friends and family are involved with the proposal he planned. They're all going to hate me. FML

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

Kids will be kids

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML