CharlieMurphy93

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

Romance is dead

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

Gun control

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML