Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I felt. She instantly burst out laughing and said, "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML
homes7d
Monsieur
YouTubers take note
Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML
My eyes! My eyes!
Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Cockwomble strikes again
Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML
Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML
Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML