Mademoiselle Célibataire
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML
Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML
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