Monsieur Columbus, Ohio, America Célibataire
Today, I had to explain to a lady that the reason I mindlessly touched my crotch was to itch a mosquito bite. She didn't believe me, and called me a pervert. FML
Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML
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