What I didn't hear you?, Happy Jack!
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
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