Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML
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