jorrrk

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML