Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML
Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML
Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
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