picklelover_meh

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

Today, a friend located my stolen dog. It was sold to a family that has an autistic child. I was told by the police that I could have my dog back, but they think I am a terrible person if I do. FML

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML