Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
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