Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML
maxxwell9
Richmond, Canada 33 ans Célibataire
Out of my mind
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
Skill issue or…?
Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML
Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML