Mademoiselle Los Angelas, United States 27 ans Célibataire
Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing, "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall…" Before I could say "…asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML
Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML
Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
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