Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
SovietBeetle
Monsieur Compliqué
Anonymous
United States
screaming monkey
Whitton, United Kingdom
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML