lpfire61

Red state

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked, "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML

Today, the nerves for my finals got so bad that I started stress-cleaning in my dream. FML

Painful relief

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

Unfair

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML