Warmastah

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

Likely story

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML