alecdoehrmann

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

Set the scene

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML