IrishDancer93

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

Procrastination

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML