pitbullxx7

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML