Monsieur Toronto, Canada 35 ans Célibataire
Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML
Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML
Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML
Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
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