Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML
Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML
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