Monsieur Célibataire
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML
Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML
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