Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML
Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML
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