Barcelona, Spain En couple
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
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