Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
sgtsnoboard
Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML
Catfished
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape, his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
Demon
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself last night was my sister's Furby that she'd stuck in the closet. FML