echizzle

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML