Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
AmbySamby
Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML
Asshat
Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML