Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
StayAwayFromMe
Monsieur Célibataire
creepermagnet
United States
cheekychimp23
United Kingdom
Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML