Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
mysfarbr0rn
Östersund, Sweden 32 ans Célibataire
Ninjas are everywhere
Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
Alexa, play "Family Snapshot" by Peter Gabriel
Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Family dinner [gone racist]
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML