CastaP

Today, as I have done for many years, I want to lose weight. The problem is, I stress eat. Thinking about losing weight makes me stress, which makes me eat. Making me fatter than ever. I can't stop this cycle. FML

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

Todd is fine, and you?

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML