lonerlarry123

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML