Pandesme

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

Hopeless

Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

Today, I actually heard my 14 year-old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML