SoGlamToBeMe

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML