sloter

Today, I hooked up with a freshman at a party. No foreplay, just a quickie. The boy was a virgin, had phimosis, and didn't know. He started to bleed and scream, causing everyone from the party to gather around the bathroom door. He left with his dick bleeding and now everyone is saying I have a snapping vagina. FML

Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

Today, my mum rejected my friend request on Facebook, again. Even my high school friends are friends with her. FML