Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
Walk1ng_Trav3sty
Mademoiselle Pittsburgh, Murica 29 ans Célibataire
Footie
Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML
MY EYES
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML