_Shake_n_Bake__

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

Today, my extremely inebriated boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML