kthxbaifg

No pain, no gain

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML