Kelsie Lynn Christensen

I need it

Today, I wore crotchless panties to bed and my boyfriend didn't notice. It's been 10 months since we've had sex. FML

Today, I took my mum on the London Underground. We were standing on the platform, when she suddenly bought up a load of phlegm in her mouth. Instead of trying to find a bin, she just full on spat out the biggest green pile on the floor next to people. FML

Today, on the first day of a new, fresh, and exciting year, I cracked my phone screen. It costs all of the money I got for Christmas. FML.

Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML

Today, I told my husband I was taking him out for a birthday dinner date; it was actually a surprise party I'd arranged with his friends and family. We were a few minutes away when his mother called him to say she would be late. Surprise ruined. FML

Today, in class I saw a boy who always makes jokes about me wearing a bracelet. I knew this could be my chance to get him back for all the years he had been mocking everything I do, so I said his bracelet was sh*t. Turns out it was a charity bracelet for his dying brother... FML